lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
