i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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