why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
