he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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