it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
