Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
