i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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