i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
