If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
