took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
