with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
