all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
