I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
