I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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