remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
