Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
