he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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