If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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