Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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