I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I will be naked everywhere
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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