Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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