bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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