Apparently you make a good broom.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
