she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
