Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
