i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
