Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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