Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
