Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
