I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
