what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
