Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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