All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
