I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
