she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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