.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
