You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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