I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
