Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
