I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
