would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
