Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hippo gnu deer
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
