Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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