i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
