i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Vodka?
Forever.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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