3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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