Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
