You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Couch. On fire.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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