Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
