5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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