so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
