She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
