Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
