you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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