I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
