white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
They are going to name an STD after you.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
