Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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