Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
