I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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