No more Irish car bombs ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
