His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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