We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
