i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Randomize
