i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
