your parents love me but you hate me
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Randomize
