I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
