I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize