oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
